game start, faint heart
by bedriddens
Summary: Now, Taichi isn't exactly the best guy when it comes to his own feelings. [arata/taichi]


notes: hi my name is cha and i'm joining a fandom probably a year late. while i do ship chihaya/arata/taichi, i really like the idea of aro!chihaya supporting taichi. also there's a shortage in arata/taichi, slash shippers, where you at? this might be under ao3 under the same name.

also watch out chihayafuru fanfic section, i'm gonna start posting a hellton of slash fics

* * *

Now, Taichi isn't _exactly_ the best guy when it comes to his own feelings.

He doesn't exactly know how to come to term with the things he feels, he's not sure how he's _supposed_ to act when he does come to terms with the things that he's feelings. He's great at everything if he puts his mind to it and practices hard enough every day, but the only thing he won't ever be really _really_ great at (aside from karuta) would be just understanding what he's feeling. He's probably a little emotionally stunted.

Which kinda sucks. Like it really _really_ sucks.

Taichi sighs. Come to think of it, the only person he's liked didn't even end well, in most people's terms. He thinks it ended fairly well, after all he and Chihaya are still friends. Close friends, to be exact. It wasn't also really gonna work out seeing as Chihaya was crazy about karuta and doesn't really show romantic feelings for anyone and that Taichi sees Chihaya as that weird energetic little sister that he wishes he has. (His real little sister is a pain in the ass and spoiled rotten. Chihaya is also spoiled, but in that endearing dog-type way.)

Well, even if he doesn't view Chihaya in that way anymore, Taichi would trade _anything_ to regain his crush for her again, because the new person he's crushing on? The worst person on earth to have a crush on and Taichi blames himself for picking the worst people to get crushes on. Is it like a psychological thing? Is something wrong with him?

Is he actually masochistic?

Taichi shakes his head. He already knows that he's probably a little masochistic, seeing as he's part of the karuta club, but is he _that_ masochistic? Surely not?

He really _really_ hopes not.

Taichi groans. He really wants to regain his crush on Chihaya, because at least with her, he _knows_ where he stands. He _knows_ they won't ever get together because Chihaya is too focused on his kurata playing, and probably surviving high school. With the new guy he's crushing on, he has no fucking idea where he stands, he has no idea what's gonna happen with him and _every single thing_ he does to Taichi seems to make the little fire of hope in his heart grow stronger.

It's the worst.

He really hates Arata Wataya.

* * *

"Arata-kun?!" Chihaya exclaims one day, during lunch when they decide to not hold a practice to relax for a bit. She's currently sitting across Taichi, eating yakisoba bread and brown eyes sparkling with curiosity. Taichi immediately regrets telling her about this small crush. " _Him?_ "

Now that he thought about it, he probably shouldn't have told Chihaya about his stupid and dumb crush on Arata. It makes things more complicated and it makes Chihaya really _really_ fucking curious that Taichi just wants to tape her to a chair to make her calm down and chill for a second. The world's not ending just because Taichi doesn't want to confess to Arata! It's probably gonna do the same thing if he doesn't! The world's probably going to be safer if he doesn't confess.

(Confessing to him means acknowledging his feelings too. He's much too a coward to do that.)

"Shh! Don't be loud you idiot." Taichi mutters, his eyes avoiding Chihaya. He doesn't want to look at his childhood friend in the eye because he has this nagging feeling that Chihaya's going to know everything about what he's feeling for Arata. That or, he won't be able to resist telling Chihaya _everything_ that he feels about Arata. Both means Chihaya getting an upper hand from him and probably 'subtly' teasing him about Arata when they cross paths, and let's face it, Chihaya isn't very good at being subtle.

Chihaya blinks and then covers the sides of her mouth. "Alright, alright," she says in a stage-whisper. Taichi rolls his eyes, half of his class can still hear Chihaya and is _probably_ interested in their conversation. "But, really? Arata-kun?"

Taichi sighs, "I'm really gonna regret telling you but, _yeah_. It's him. I like Arata Wataya." Taichi says in a low voice, still avoiding to look at Chihaya but _he feels_ Chihaya radiating warmth and happiness and Taichi flushes red a little. It feels so weird but so nice to admit that and say that. Nice, but a little bit worrying. "Don't tell anyone about this."

"Don't worry! You can trust me with your secrets Taichi!"

* * *

Well, it turns out that Ayase Chihaya is a fucking liar.

"I can't believe you, really? _Really?_ Arata Wataya?" Nishida tells him one day, when both of them are early for karuta practice. He's barely containing his laughs and Taichi wants nothing more than to punch him square in his face. "I can't believe this, I can't believe this at all."

"I'm gonna _kill_ Chihaya."

Nishida pats him on the back, "Hey now, don't blame her." Nishida covers his mouth and a hand at his belly, to stop himself and to contain the laughs. "You know her, she can't really keep a secret that long and she did accidentally say it. Kinda tricked her into it, you know? _But really? Arata Wataya?_ "

Nishida gets fucking obliterated the next time he and Taichi plays a game. Chihaya doesn't get obliterated, but she also did have a hard time playing with Taichi with all the glares he gave her. Needless to say, Kanade and Komano left the clubroom that day confused and a bit scared.

* * *

Nishida doesn't learn his lesson and still teases Taichi whenever he makes a vague romantic comment. Chihaya notices this and also starts teasing Taichi. Kanade and Komano are still confused.

("Hey! Don't leave me behind!" Taichi runs after the two who went on ahead without him while he was changing his clothes. Kanade and Komano went ahead because they had a date but he _specifically_ asked the Chihaya and Nishida to wait for him so they can discuss techniques. He finally catches up to the two and sighs, "Honestly, how rude."

"Taichi, at least we only left you behind by a couple of miles." Chihaya starts, "However… You're one true love one…" Chihaya fake sobs.

Nishida wipes a non-existent tear in his eye. "Truly the most tragic love story ever."

Taichi just sighs and smacks the both of them in the forehead. "You idiots. You left me behind just for this joke?"

Nishida and Chihaya only laugh at him.)

Now, it's not like Chihaya and Nishida doesn't support him in his 'love', they do! They might be even more invested in this than Taichi himself, but they'e just full of hope that Arata will return back his feelings that he doesn't really know what to say.

He'll just copy Nishida and just go with the flow.

* * *

Taichi hates Arata Wataya so fucking much.

He realizes how much he really _really_ likes Arata Wataya one day while in bed. (It was also the day that Chihaya told him she wasn't interested in boys, or in girls for that matter. She told Taichi that she really doesn't want any romantic relationship with anyone; it _just_ feels wrong for some reason. Taichi immediately supported her and was really happy that Chihaya trusted him this much to tell him this. His crush for her has long faded away and the only thing that remained was the intense familial love he felt for Chihaya. )

It was the middle of the night, probably close to midnight, when he was hit the realization that Arata Wataya is really _really_ cute and can make Taichi turn a little bit red, even though he's just thinking about him.

How did he even think about Arata Wataya? It wasn't, really- Taichi doesn't really know, but what he does know is that if he didn't think about him, he wouldn't have had to face the fact that he likes Arata Wataya in a more than friends way, he doesn't have to deal with his feelings and figure it out. He doesn't have to deal with the fact that Arata won't probably like him back.

Taichi groans and turns to his side. Thinking about Arata Wataya isn't helping him sleep. It's doing the opposite and it's keeping him up awake.

He hates how much Arata Wataya can affect him.

Mizusawa High School hosts an invitational training camp for some schools that they know. They invite Hokuo Academy, Tsuzaku Academy and of course, Fujioka High School.

Chihaya and Nishida comforts him, or at least attempts to comfort him when they're not laughing. They've proved themselves to be the worst kind of friends again. Kanade and Komano and the new members, look and observes them curiously. (Taichi notices that there seems to be a weird hierarchy in the karuta club. There are no seniors in their club and all of them are first years, but it seems that he, Chihaya and Nishida are considered as the seniors, Kanade and Komano as the second years, and Sumire and Akihiro are the first years. It's really weird.)

"Come on, _come on_! We had to invite them, because they're our friends!" Chihaya pats his back, still giggling. "They're also insanely strong so all of us will learn new things!"

"There's also a possibility they'll decline, seeing as they're really far away from us." Nishida points out, barely stopping himself from grinning. He's taking pleasure in seeing Taichi like this, the fucking asshole.

"Yeah, Porky's right! Or maybe they accept but Arata won't come! Don't jump to conclusions right away, Taichi." Chihaya grins at him, "Now chin up, and start practice okay? I got a few new techniques that I want to test with Porky,"

* * *

 _MIZUSAWA HIGHSCHOOL:_

 _We humbly accept your invitation of a training camp and we will be there to train all of our students with you and other schools. These are the students that will attend this training camp:_

 _(…)_

 _Arata Wataya_

 _(…)_

 _We look forward to attending the camp,_

 _FUJIOKA HIGHSCHOO_ _L_

* * *

[FROM: Arata Wataya]

[TO: Chihaya Ayase]

How've you've been? I'm looking forward to see you in the training camp and see if you became even stronger. I'm looking forward to seeing and playing against you.

Arata.

* * *

[FROM: Arata Wataya]

[TO: Taichi Mashima]

How have you been? I'm doing great. I'm sure you've heard but I'm looking forward to see you in the training camp. Really looking forward to seeing and playing against you. I hope to see you there.

Arata.

* * *

Well, Fujioka High School accepts their invitation.

Arata Wataya is coming too, he just sent a text informing Chihaya and Taichi.

Fuck.

* * *

"I'm fucked, aren't I?" Taichi says, as he enters the clubroom. It's currently the day before the training camp and Taichi's holding his phone, showing the message to everybody in the room, regardless if they know or not.

Chihaya looks up from her phone with fearful eyes and nods. "Yes, you are indeed fucked."

"Holy shit." Nishida looks at Chihaya's phone and reads the message. "Dude you are more than fucked. You're probably gonna die."

Taichi groans, and covers his face. He's probably turning red right now and it sucks. "You don't have to say it out loud."

"Dude you asked, like all of us."

Kanade, the pure and precious angel that she is, kindly asks if she can read both Taichi and Chihaya's message. Taichi and Chihaya gives their phones to Kanade and she sets it down on the table to read, with everyone peering down to see what she's doing.

"Huh. That's interesting." Kanade mutters after several moments of looking at the messages. "I don't usually overthink things like these, but don't you think the message sent to Taichi is more personal than Chihaya's?" Kanade asks, before turning red and adding, "Of course I don't mean to imply that Chihaya's relationship with Wataya-kun is smaller than the President's!"

Chihaya spends the half of the club time calming Kanade down and saying that _yes_ , it was okay and _no_ , Chihaya isn't offended at all!

(Nishida approaches Taichi after club hours, with a lecherous expression in his face and Taichi just sighs.

"What to do you want Nishida?"

"Seems to me that Arata likes you _that_ way too."

Taichi flushes a bit and winces inwardly. Shit, Nishida's surely noticed that. "H-he might've sent the wrong message."

"He's not careless." Nishida points out, grinning and going on ahead of Taichi.

"He's not indeed." Taichi repeats after Nishida's left him. He shouldn't let a flicker of hope grow but he just can't help it.

Fuck Arata Wataya to be honest. In all fucking ways.)

* * *

The day of the training camp arrives and Taichi is still filled with unexplainable feelings and shit he never really figured out even after all those sleepless nights.

"Woah! Dude, you okay?" Nishida looks at Taichi in shock. He's the second one to arrive after Taichi, and he's probably looking and referring to the eye bags under Taichi's eyes. "Didn't get much sleep, did you?"

Taichi yawns, "No, I didn't at all." He rubs his eyes, and really regrets not sleeping yesterday. Maybe he can sneak a few moments of sleep before the rest arrives.

"Psh, it looks like it," Nishida chuckles, "Are you really scared of meeting him?"

"Not really," Taichi answers honestly, there's no really point answering in a lie. The worst that could happen is them just teasing him. "It's more that I'm scared of looking at him in the eye."

"Oh boy, that's kinda cheesy."

"You don't have to tell me." Taichi groans and hides himself in his hands. He's acting like a teenaged girl in love, and it's affecting him in the worst way ever. He feels Nishida pats his back, and he sighs.

"You got it bad." Nishida says, "Bad indeed." He repeats as if the first one wasn't enough.

Taichi groans once more, and promptly plants his face on the desk. Talking about his crush on Arata is tiring and he's feeling sleepy. The moment he closes his eyes, he falls into sleep.

* * *

Meeting Arata again, with the knowledge that Taichi has a big ol' crush on the guy, is really weird. Especially the fact that Nishida and Chihaya knows and basically uses the whole introduction period sending Taichi expressions that basically says 'You're fucking crush is in the room so yes, we're teasing you about it'. The whole period Taichi barely stops himself from groaning and burying his face in his hands, talk about great self-control.

"Hello," Someone with a distinct Fukui dialect.

Taichi looks up and he swears his heart skips a thousand beats. Arata Wataya is standing in front of him and Taichi swears he's probably dead right now. "Y-yo." Taichi stutters, and winces inwardly. He didn't mean to stutter, but he also wasn't expecting seeing Arata so soon and so close.

Arata raises an eyebrow in amusement and Taichi wills himself to not turn red in embarrassment. "You okay?"

"Yeah." Taichi answers and gulps. His eyes darts around and tries to find Chihaya and Nishida or _any_ Mizusawa karuta club members. He _desperately_ wants someone to save him from this kind of situation. His heart, and his mind, and soul and body isn't ready for a meeting like this, _especially_ in a casual setting. He's probably gonna make a dumb mistake, and embarrass himself and the club in front of all the other schools present. "How you doing?"

"Everything's been good. It's been good." Awkward silence befalls them, and Taichi then looks down to avoid looking at Arata in his eyes. For some reason, Arata's eyes are like Chihaya's, he feels that if he looks at Arata, his true feelings would be known by the other and that's the last thing he wants to happen.

"So-"

"Listen-"

Both of them blink in surprise and Taichi looks up to stare at Arata. He's also confused like Taichi is and within second, Taichi begins to laugh. Arata stares at him in surprise and after a few moments he follows suit. Everyone in the room is probably staring at them, and Taichi can feel Chihaya and Nishida's stares at his back, but right now he doesn't care.

Taichi and Arata stops laughing after a few moments and looks at each other.

"You start first since you did say the first word first." Taichi starts and looks at Arata in the eyes, still grinning.

Arata flushes a pretty pink, probably from laughing too much. "Well, I was kind of wondering if you were free, during our free period." Arata says, his hands shaking nervously. Taichi feels himself turn beet red, and looks down again. "I mean, um- of course, i-it's been a bit long since I came back, so maybe things changed, and I was wondering if you'd help me around town?"

Taichi grasps his pants, and probably turns even redder. Ignoring the fact that Arata doesn't need to know Tokyo again since he'll be going back after one week of training camp, thank god for Golden Week, Taichi still can't quite believe this. "Um. Well, um-"

"Well! I mean it's okay if you don't want to, I understand if you're not that comfortable and-" Arata stutters, not looking at Taichi in the eyes. His face is a deep red, and Taichi desperately wants to bury his face in his hands. They're like a courting couple from one of the period of the poems, and Taichi's heart is beating so fast, that he's scared he might drop dead.

"Wait! No, um." Taichi calls out before Arata can leave and talk to someone else, "It's- It's okay. I'm not that busy during free period and I'd be more than happy to, um help you around."

Arata smiles at him happily, like Taichi just restored World Peace and saved ten dogs from drowning, and Taichi's heart feels light. "That's! That's great! T-thank you!" Arata exclaims, "Y-you know my number already and I already know yours so… I'll just contact you during free time?"

"Y-yeah, that'd be okay." Taichi replies, "I'll see you around, then."

"Same here!" Arata says happily, "I look forward to playing with you." Arata leaves and goes back to his group.

"It's a date then!" Taichi can't help but call out before he can think twice, and Arata almost stumbles when he hears that. He can't help but grin when Arata turns back and nods furiously before running back to his group.

* * *

"So…! What was that all about?" Chihaya corners Taichi during their lunch break. Introduction period is over and after lunch they'll be playing some karuta matches against other clubs. They decided to be lax during the first and last day of training camp, much to Chihaya's chagrin.

"Yeah, yeah! You can't just expect us to not be curious when you laughed in front of your crush." Nishida says as he sits down across Chihaya and Taichi. He's holding yakisoba bread and melon bread and gives the former to Chihaya, which she happily accepts.

Taichi turns red at the remembrance of what happened earlier, he's fairly sure that his ears are also a bright red. "Well- It's. It's a secret." Taichi starts, "But, I won't be around during free periods."

" _Holy shit!_ " Nishida nearly shouts out, "You sly dog! I can't believe this, I can't believe you're like this! Well, be sure to use protection." Nishida chuckles and then promptly digs into his melon bread.

"Huh? Protection? Protection from what?" Chihaya, the innocent child that she is, says. "Are you targeted by the Yakuza, Taichi?"

"N-no! Chihaya, I won't associate myself with the Yakuza! Where would I even have the time?" Taichi exclaims, his face turning red for a different recent. "And you!" He smacks Nishida in the forehead which earns him a yelp, "It's not like that!" He groans, and buries his face in his hands. "How am I even friends with all of you?"

Nishida laughs, and punches his shoulder lightly, "Oh lighten up Taichi, I was making a joke." Nishida grins at the two of them.

"And you know you love us!" Chihaya chirps and adds.

Taichi sighs, "And as your President, I'm obligated to do that." He slightly grins as he hears the protests of Nishida and Chihaya. His thoughts go back to Arata and the thing that happened earlier. It wasn't much, but Taichi's heart still beats fast whenever he recalls that memory, and he's just really _really_ excited for this.

He'll let this flicker of hope burn. He hopes it'll burn for a long time.


End file.
